By GG-CrixLee 1 year, 11 months ago • 0 Comments
In Dante’s Inferno, players become Dante as he travels on an epic descent through Dante Alighieri’s nine circles of Hell – limbo, lust, gluttony, greed, anger, heresy, violence, fraud and treachery.
Nine circles…hmm. We all jokingly say that '... will be my personal hell’, can you imagine having NINE personal hells?!
LIMBO – A room with ONE game and every jackass at every convention I’ve ever come across who can’t seem to fathom that if a chick is standing in line for a game it could possibly be because, oh, I don’t know, they WANT TO PLAY and aren’t there to 'keep their boyfriend company’. Oh, and said jerks should cut ahead of me in line and/or play for 25 damn minutes like I’m freakin invisible. Awesome. Seriously, screw you guys.
LUST – a room full of every gamer boy/game creator I’ve ever had a crush on and/or dated. Yep. Hell on a stick.
ANGER – having to defend myself to a room full of male jackass gamers who’s answer to everything is “t**s or GTFO.”
VIOLENCE – Every zombie I’ve ever killed in Left 4 Dead giving me a guilt trip while trying to nibble on my flesh, so…what, around 70,000? Crap.
(I would’ve listed them all but I suffer from the deadly sin of Sloth. GET IT?! lol.)
Last week I attended the Dante’s Inferno Launch Party at Dragonfly here in Hollywood, and am sorry to say I found my 10th Circle of Hell.
Why didn’t I interview anyone from the game? Hey, it would’ve been nice to talk to a developer, producer, voice actor, ANYONE but guess what? None of them were there. I would think if there was a product you spent the better part of a couple years working on, you’d want to celebrate its completion and subsequent release to the world, right? I mean, am I wrong?
That should have been my first sign.
I’d also like to know why EA spent AT LEAST 1 Million on their Super Bowl commercial, but couldn’t be bothered to say anything about the launch on their official DI site or anywhere else, for that matter. Including last week’s article and tweeting an open invite to the event with outlets like LA Schmaps and LA Screenings retweeting the event, I officially did more than their PR did. Did Dante’s Inferno “RT”? Not a word. Nay, Nay, Nay. The result? LESS than 100 people at a party for a video game with HUGE buzz behind it, which is also why there’s no shots of the crowd.
I don’t know if you know this, but…Beautiful, scantily clad women dancing on a stage + video games = practically every gamer boy and (some gamer girl’s) #1 fantasy. Write it down.
Then there’s the issue of swag. I have ZERO issue with paying $12 to go to a launch party but I would hope that everyone would walk away with something – a sticker, pin, button, iron-on patch…ANYTHING. A few comic books and a chance to win ONE copy of Dante’s Inferno? Boo-Urns. Who has a launch party with only ONE game to give away? One game. One. I’m just gonna keep saying “one” until y’all realize that it’s JUST as it sounds. I mean, there’s two letters in EA, that should qualify to have two games to give out, right?
The one bright spot were the dancers of Devil’s Playground, also famous for their Star Wars and Video Game burlesque shows. These ladies heavily researched their respective “sins” and their numbers were hot. I am definitely a fan!
EA has some of my favorite titles and their launch parties are usually this side of amazing but in Dante’s case, a ball was dropped.
You’re better than this, EA.
Dante's Inferno, Devil's Playground, EA, GameTruck
