Girl Gamer

Gamer Grub is Grody?

By CandiceGG 1 year, 2 months ago • 6 Comments

Did they make hippie food for gamers? Seriously?

I admit fully that I’m all about hype sometimes. Pretty packaging, beautiful liquids in glass or plastic bottles that have nice fonts? I’m down. Just rock me with some details on pricing and availability and it will be in my fridge or pantry in hours. When it comes to impulse buys and pretty drinks and snacks.. I’m easy like sunday morning.

So, this “Gamer Grub” should have been a slam-dunk on my senses and I should’ve not only appreciated what it brought to the table, but endorsed it fully. Not only is it “Gamer” related, but it’s.. “Grub”. Come on! Advertising alone as “Performance Snacks” made this invention all but flawless. Well, until you put it in your mouth and indeed grubbed on what could only have been described as.. hamster food deliciously laced with MSG and chock full of “tomato almonds”. I envisioned the person who would enjoy such a snack as rolling the almonds over in their fingers and using their two front teeth to chow down in between raids in World of Warcraft.

Firstly, the kind folks over at Biosilo Foods sent me some samples (And some to give away, which I promptly did) of the “Gamer Grub” snacks in both the Pizza flavor and the PB&J. I think I prefer the old names they went by, like “Action Pizza” and “Sports PB&J”. They were punchier and even though they were hardly the foods you’d associate with their game counterparts.. it was nicer to say.

This is the part where I tell you I tried the Pizza, with it’s crispy chips and almonds and then twenty minutes later I nearly passed out. You think I’m kidding? Yours truly is quite allergic to MSG and I figured nobody used that anymore — oh, but the fine folks at Biosilo Foods do. For their product being so nutritious and full of awesome, they sure doused those pita chips and sesame sticks with enough mono sodium glutamate to choke a Japanese noodle shop owner. The CDC should’ve issued a release about the Pizza Gamer Grub, stating that only the strong at heart and constitution should even attempt it. Did it taste good? I’d love to tell you.. but my tongue became too swollen to recall. I think I recall it tasting, like what I can only imagine, pizza flavored Kibbles & Bits would taste like.

As far as the PB&J went, it was actually tolerable. With peanut-butter chips, fun little dried chunks of strawberry jam, peanuts and even sweet cookie pieces (Sweet bread, they called it.).. it actually tasted like what it was meant to be. I had no issues with this and I was furiously trying to give people the extras to my Pizza flavor, I found out I hoarded the PB&J. I’ll take delicious Peanut Butter and Jelly trail mix over Pizza Kibble any day of the week. Now, did I feel empowered and ready to go play video games afterward? No. I felt like drowning my throat in a glass of milk and possibly finding something more substantial to eat. Nothing will make you feel more lame than realizing you can’t even prepare and eat the easiest sandwich known to man.. but that you have to buy it in a bag, whereas chunks of said sandwich can be sprinkled into your mouth. Are we getting that lazy? Really? Sure, it’s delicious, but I just felt mentally handicapped at the end of the taste testing.

To find out more about what others thought of the taste, I gave out some samples — without saying what I thought — to some other folks to see what they thought of it. One person said that it tasted like a last resort kind of snack, something to eat when all your Pringles ran out. Another person said they could SMELL the additives in it and thusly, only nibbled on an almond. I wonder if they’ve finished testing and focus groups for the product.. because I haven’t found a single person in which I’ve had try it that actually liked Gamer Grub or even wanted more of it. What does this say for the future of “performance snacks”?

You can’t sell something on hype alone.